The Glimmer List

It can be really easy to focus on what's not going well.
As humans, we have a natural negativity bias. When we have experienced trauma, this tendency is amplified and we can easily get into very narrow ways of thinking where all we can see is what is not going well.

Negativity bias can sound like...
"Nothing ever goes my way"
"I always get the short end of the stick"
"I will never heal, so I might as well give up"

While negativity bias is an adaptive function, and can actually help us avoid harm, it can also be a super big bummer. And it can be inaccurate- leading us to think that everything is bad when in fact the reality is much more nuanced and complex.

Glimmers can help counterbalance the negativity bias.

Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. A term originally coined by social worker Deb Dana, Glimmers refer to moments when our nervous system is in connection or regulation which cues our body to feel safe & calm. These can be really small things. They can co-exist with heartbreak, fear, anger and real danger. Glimmers can be a gateway from black & white trauma-brain thinking into more of a grey area, nuanced, holistic thinking.

✨Do-able practice invitation:

Watch the 5 minute intro video above, then set aside 5 mins to write your glimmer list

When you are ready, get a notebook and set a timer for 5 minutes. Then, write "Glimmers" at the top of the page.

Begin to write a list of everything you can think of in your life right now that is possibly good or even neutral to okay. Remember, the most important thing about your list is that it includes things that make your body feel more relaxed, safe, present or connected when you think about them.

Your glimmer list might include things like...

✨Today I can breathe fresh air outside
✨I have food in my refrigerator
✨My dog is loyal & loving- I can depend on them
✨I am feeling a bit better today than I did yesterday
✨This shirt is so soft and comforting
✨I had a sweet conversation with a friend last night
✨Taking time to write this list in my journal is evidence that I care about myself

Sometimes, if we don't include the negative or painful thoughts in our list, they can get louder -which is understandable! - those "negative" thoughts are often trying to protect us & they just want to make sure they are not left out of the picture.

Your nuanced glimmer list might include both/and statements like...
✨I am feeling overwhelmed today, and I can breathe fresh air outside
✨I am feeling anxious about not having enough, and today I have food in my refirgerator
✨I am feeling lonely, and my dog is loyal & loving, I can depend on them for affection
✨I have been struggling with chronic pain, and my body is feeling a bit better today
✨I am afraid that everything is going wrong, and my shirt is so soft & comforting
✨I really miss my family, and I had a sweet conversation with a friend last night
✨Sometimes I think that I hate myself, and writing this list is evidence I care about myself

You can free-write for the whole 5 minutes, or you can try thinking of 5 things that are going well and stop then. Giving yourself a container can help this practice feel more do-able. Then, perhaps notice how you feel. What's the effect of writing this list on your heart, emotional body or mind?

You can write a list like this as often as you'd like. I like to do it every day when I am feeling particularly discouraged or down, to help me keep my perspective more whole & grounded.

💕 Be sure to keep an eye on your inbox tomorrow for a link to lesson 5